Aleyah's 18th birthday tomorrow

A big reason I post on social media about things we are doing is because I want my child to see what is happening in my life as I dont have direct contact. I want her to see that I am here for her. I always have been and always will be... 

I also have tried to keep updated on her life as much as possible in any way I can. I have regular meetings with school/college and other contacts.

She is 18 tomorrow!!! A huge landmark!

But as you know, 18 is not that magical age where an alienated child can 'choose'... Alienated children are  conditioned to be apart and even hate or fear the parent they have been alienated from so I might have to face that.

The positive is that the family courts can no longer be used to facilitate this behaviour any further.

 There may be a lot of repair work to do. It is very difficult (almost impossible) to get any support from ANY organisation to assist with a reunification process.

 

I, like many other affected parents have to just keep on reaching out but trying never to lose hope

As an alienated parent I find the best way for me to cope with the situation celebrate her birthday as best I can in her absence..

As we have every year since she was retained from any contact (well over a decade ago), we have gathered cards and gifts for the day that we are reunited.. Hopefully that will be soon!

I have also sent cards and gifts again to the address I THINK she has moved to but do not know for certain. No gifts throughout the years since she was taken again have ever been acknowledged.

Tomorrow, as I do every year , I will be trying to celebrate her birthday with cake of course... It is tough... it really is... and I am sure there will once again be tears...

However, I keep the hope that she is of the age now where she will reach out to her paternal family who love and miss her wholeheartedly. Sadly, her grandmother, won't get the opportunity to reunite with her as she passed away in 2015 but she has cousins, Aunts and Uncles who would love to be reunited.

I hope Aleyah sees all of the messages, posts and realises that I am here for her. I always have been... I ALWAYS will be... and I know that NONE of this is her fault.

I hope that her maternal family get the help they need to take the cold heartedness out of their lives and promote her loving relationship with her paternal family who miss her so much.

They need to put an end to this alienating behaviour which they will know has been abusive not only to her paternal family but to Aleyah also.

I always wonder if they have any guilt, remorse or regret but surely, if they did, this would have been resolved by now. 😪

I hope she has a wonderful day... I am so so proud of her and everything she has achieved so far in her life. I love and miss her wholeheartedly.

One more day closer!!!!!

 #parentalalienationawareness

s.monkdalton@gmail.com

0034 622925754

Family Courts - Avoid if possible

The family court systems are so very broken..

 We know this and yes, it is so unfair and as anybody who has gone through this nightmare will know, there is very little or no deterrent or accountability for the actions of the other parent and their representation

Alienation, abduction, retention, false allegations, frustration of contact seems to be more common than not in ongoing cases and I agree that not enough is being done to tackle this very serious problem..

The "law" is actually being used and abused to achieve an objective.. total "parentectomy"...

Having trying for over 13 years to reunite with my child and trying to stay positive in the process, I can say that if at all possible, try to resolve matters OUT of the court room..

It can often make the situation much worse than you can imagine when first appearing..

 You enter as a concerned and loving parent looking for help to reunite with your child but instead it can often label you as a risk and have to jump through hoop after hoop to make any progress whatsoever...

The longer it goes on, the more that people around you accept that this is the way it is..

It gets to the point where you have no mechanism to contest any judgements no matter what devious and malicious means were used to obtain them..

Who are the winners? the parents?? the family?? the children?? absolutely not.. none of them..

The winners in these situations are ONLY legal and childcare "professionals".. I wish I could believe they can be effective but unfortunately, given my experience and the experiences of many other parents I have spoken with over the past decade, I don't... 

I really do wish parents the very best in these situations but please, if you choose or are forced to enter the family court circus..

be prepared for a struggle..

be prepared to be treated unfairly..

be prepared to be disappointed and disillusioned in the current system...

be prepared for people you hope to be there to dig their heads in the sand...

be prepared for emotional trauma...

Whether in court proceedings or not, NEVER give up on the person that matters the most.. your child! ..

Whether it is tomorrow, or much later in the future, they will need you and will, I am sure, want to see that you have NEVER given up..

They will want to see that it is not you that is trying to alienate your child...but it IS you that continues to do everything you can to be involved in their life... however you can! 

I hope this message is taken as it is intended..

The family courts need to be a very LAST resort.. NOT the first... The way the system is right now it is a complete lottery.. it is soul destroying..

Our children NEED us to be strong no matter what obstacles are put in front of us..

Sending love and best wishes to all who are having to go through this.. 

Of course I am also reaching out as I always have to my wonderful, beautiful, talented daughter who will be turning 18 in August...

I love you.... I always have... I always will

ONE DAY CLOSER!!!! XXX

s.monkdalton@gmail.com

0034 622 925 754

#parentalienationawareness #onedaycloser #endparentalalienation #ParentalAlienation #parentalchildabduction #kidsfirst #paawareness

Social Media Posts

I know I am quite active on social media with pics etc and I know that I don't really have to explain why... However, I actually want to because it might help other parents / families affected by parental alienation.

The main reason I post is because I want my daughter to see what is happening in our lives as I do not have the opportunity to speak to her in person.. It is my way to, in some way, keep her updated and to see that I am the same loving dad that she was alienated from and not a broken shell of that person as a result of the tactics that were used (and continue to be used) to keep us apart.

I have had to learn to compartmentise my thoughts to things I can do something about here and now versus things I have to be patient about being able to do.. This is harder than you might imagine.

I hope my daughter sees my posts and will know that I long for us to be reunited and she will be familiar with the places we go and the person/dad that I am.. AND that she is ALWAYS in my mind and in my heart... 

I will continue to do everything I can to keep updated about her day to day life and reach out to her... I hope that sooner, rather than later, she will reach out to me too.

s.monkdalton@gmail.com

0034 622925754

With regard to other parts of my life, I want my daughter to know how happy I am with the most amazing, wonderful, supportive, loving lady Michelle who I love so much... and she also cannot wait to meet her... 

We live in the most beautiful country (to me) and I feel extremely blessed in so many ways..

We also have some wonderful friends who I am so grateful for including those I play football, darts, padel, cycling with... as well as my long term friends who I treasure so much

I pray that my daughter and I will be reunited soon... One day closer! xx

Parental Alienation Awareness - Michelle's words

This was written a couple of years ago but it means just as much now as it did when written.. Thank you Michelle ❤️ xx

-------------------

"I didnt really know that much about parental alienation until I saw what was happening with you. Over the years we have been together I have seen the extent you go to daily to be part of Aleyahs life.

I have been to some of your termly visits to the school and its is obvious that the school teachers know exactly what is happening but are powerless to do anything about it.

I have seen the attacks on you for trying to stay involved in her life. Even death threats!

I see how proud you are of her and was with you when we went to see her in the School of Rock musical in London and how hard it was for you to be there as an anonymous face in the crowd.

Also I have seen first hand the tactics that are used to try to erase you from her life. Even changing her name immediately after her 16th birthday and attempting to remove any photographs you have together from social media. 

The effort you have made to raise awareness of parental alienation and parental child abduction with event such as football tournaments, skydive, concerts, the One Day Closer shop, even making the journey on foot between Spain and UK completing a marathon a day for 44 days and now cycling over 2700km meeting up with other parents en route on Tandem Across Borders - Spain to UK in August this year.

I hope you manage to get the support with this that you deserve.

Even with everything you are going through, you still take the time to support and listen to other parents who are facing a similar situation. 

Every day I see how much you love and think about Aleyah and would do anything you can to be reunited. I cant wait to see that happen as you have done all of this without reacting to any provocation. She should be so proud of you. All you have done is show your love for your daughter.

We have tried to celebrate her birthdays and Christmases in her absence and altbough I can see how much it hurts, you do so with a smile on your face.

Ive spoken to many people who knew Aleyah when she was here with you and they all say the same thing. How much of a dedicated, loving father you are and how dispicable it was the tactics that were used to take her again even after she was abducted and returned back to you through the courts.

Ive even spoken to people who once were friends of the maternal family who are disgusted with the way you have been treated and stepped away from their friendship with them for that reason.

You never give up Steve and I know you never will. Aleyah will be so proud of you once she realises everything you have tried to do. I am sure she knows already but while she is still a child, she will still be under pressure and influence of the alienator. Your time will come Steve. I cant wait to meet her xxxx"

Parental Alienation Awareness 

#parentalalienationawareness 

#parentalalienation

Century ride 3 of 27

I'm not getting through these rides as quickly as I would like but this has been due to various other commitments and some personal matters that Michelle and I needed to address... Not to mention the fact that we have our wedding planned for the near future.

However, last weekend I completed another century ride that was partly completed on the road bike and partly on the tandem with Michelle.

I had some other news recently. I love to hear when good things happen to good people.. 

This week, two parents who I have been in touch with for several years have been reunited with their children following the most horrifying cases of parental alienation, parental child abduction and false allegations used to frustrate any contact.. 

One of these parents even had a tearful apology from the alienating parent stating that they were TOLD to do this by lawyers... (no excuse.. They should have said no...and those lawyers SHOULD be held accountable for even suggesting it.... but they wont be)

The other parent said that they didn't know whether to tell me as they thought I might be upset as I have still not been reunited with my child..... Please... DO tell me good news like this... I am so so happy for you and really look forward to hearing that you are repairing the damage caused by so many years apart and the alienation tactics that were used over the past decade...

These good news stories really do help affected parents... grandparents... and children as they can see that there might be light at the end of the tunnel... 

No matter how tough the past and today might have been, tomorrow the situation might change completely... It happens!!!!

Stay positive all... and try to keep it together and look after YOU!

Your children will want to be reunited with the same parent they were alienated from... (only stronger and wiser)... Not a broken shell of that parent.

One day closer!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Mothers Day AND Dia del Padre - 19 Mar

This year, on 19th March, Father's day in Spain is celebrated on the same day as Mother's day in UK...

so.... Happy "Parents Day" all good moms and dads out there.. 

Please don't forget that parents who cannot see their children due to parental child abduction and /or parental alienation ARE still moms or dads on these days.

The difference being that it cannot be acknowledged by the children that they love with all of their hearts... Often due to the cruel and heartless brainwashing of the child at the hands of the other parent or family that claim to love them.

It really is so difficult and the emotions heighten even more on key dates.. 

Thoughts with all affected parents, grandparents, families AND of course, their children.... One day closer x

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Este año, el 19 de marzo, el día del padre en España se celebra el mismo día que el día de la madre en Reino Unido...

 así que... Feliz "Día de mamá y papá" a todas las buenas mamás y papás...

 Por favor, no olvide que los padres que no pueden ver a sus hijos debido al secuestro de niños por parte de los padres y/o la alienación de los padres SON todavía mamás o papás en estos días.

 La diferencia es que los niños no pueden reconocer que aman con todo su corazón... A menudo debido al cruel y despiadado lavado de cerebro del niño a manos del otro padre o familia que dice amarlo.

 Realmente es tan difícil y las emociones aumentan aún más en fechas clave..

 Pensamientos con todos los padres, abuelos, familias afectadas Y, por supuesto, sus hijos.... Un día más cerca x

#fathersday #kidsfirst #parentalalienation #parentalchildabduction #onedaycloser

Parental Alienation Awareness

Century ride 2 of 27

Another century ride completed today.

 I was hoping to do some on the tandem but unfortunately, I did not have a co-rider/stoker as Michelle was busy with work.

I stopped off at some lovely places and was a very pleasant day

Video clip of today's cycle

Century ride 1 of 27

On Sunday I completed my 1st century ride of 27 I hope to complete this year.

Remember, you can still help me raise my fundraising target on

 https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/tandemacrossborders-paa

Thanks again all

Steve

s.monkdalton@gmail.com

0034 622925754

Making a Start

January has come to a close and I have been getting back out on the bike a bit more so hopefully I will make a start on the first of 27 century rides that I intend to do this year next weekend...

Only century ride days will count towards my total and I will publish my Strava results on here.

Don't forget that I have kept my JustGiving page open as I still want to reach my target amount and my target distance of 2700km that sadly I could not complete last year due to illness.

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/tandemacrossborders-paa

Since my tests, I have had no further cardio issues which is a relief. There had been a suggestion that the episode could have been due to Covid and/or the vaccines but whether this is true or not remains a mystery.

I am just happy to be feeling a bit fitter again but everything I do now, I do with a bit more caution.

I would love to be able to do the tours again but lets get these 27 century rides out of the way first and then MAYBE I can think about doing a tour of Spain... I have already looked at a possible route which would take me alongside the Camino de Santiago part of the way.

At the moment, this is just an idea but I thought I would share that with you.

January Update

It has been a couple of months since I provided an update on here so I will let you know what my hopes are for this year in regard to cycling.

It was my hope that I would have been able to provide definate plans but recent events have been quite stressful and I just needed to step away for a while to recharge.

Before I go into further detail, I have some extremely sad news to share in that my good friend Peter Lane sadly passed away recently after illness

He will be missed so so much by so many. My love and thoughts go out to his whole wonderful family.. 

Always positive, dedicated and caring.. Such unbelievable support to me personally in trying to reunite with my daughter Aleyah who he met during our travels in the first few years of her life.

He selflessly travelled down to London to meet with us to give his support when I was going through the most difficult family court processes and even went to see some of her West End performances.. 

He had an amazing knack of having me in fits of laughter even when I might have least felt like it and was always a friend I could turn to.

He was one in a million... Bless you Peter... RIP 😥 xxx

As Peter spent all of his adult life serving some of the most underprivileged communities and, at just 53 years old, thought he would have longer to prepare for his final arrangements. 

No one is obligated to donate, but if you would consider donating and/or sharing this link, Peter's family would be so grateful

https://www.givesendgo.com/Reverend_Lane?utm_source=facebook

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With regard to any plans for a cycle, the cardio episode I had in August as well as Covid illness, this really did take its toll on me. 

Not to mention a horrific trip back to UK in October last year which really had me wondering why people could go to extreme lengths to hurt others no matter what the effects might be. 

I just really needed some time away from everything... However, I am as positive as I can be and healthwise, I feel much better so I hope to put some plans together again soon...

I had mentioned about staying local for cycling to be on the cautious side but I may decide to take some journeys away..

As mentioned, I want to cover a distance of 2700km which I was hoping to cover on Tandem Across Borders before I had the cardio problems.. 

What I hope to do over 2023 is 27 ton cycles that will cover that distance.. Any shorter cycles, will not be counted towards the total as they are just for fun... 

Hopefully, this will be acceptable to all who have sponsored me and I still hope to meet my fundraising target.

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/tandemacrossborders-paa

I will provide a countdown throughout the year.

Thank you again for your support all. Really means a lot.